I intentionally hit a car on Friday night

"Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing." (granfury) 12/16/2018 at 10:14 • Filed to: None

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And I don’t regret it one bit.

OK, maybe a little bit - my fist was sore for a few hours, but that has subsided. It started out with a simple trip to Target, the one in the area with underground parking, after an absolutely hellacious day at work. Whilst there I found that they had a cheap 10" Amazon fire tablet on sale for less than $100 and decided to grab one.

Not surprisingly, they were out of stock. The clerk checked inventory and found that a store about 5 miles down the road had 10 in stock, so I headed over there. The weather was horrid, the first time I’ve had to use my wipers on full speed in ages. I got to that store and they had a total of (wait for it) none. It said they had several, so he was going to check in back, but in the process of going to the back he got stopped by someone else and spent 15 minutes helping them when he already had a paying customer, me, waiting for him.

When he came back and informed me that despite what his inventory system said he had zero in stock, I told him that I wanted him to locate one at a local store and have it waiting for me up front at guest services so that I didn’t have to go all the way to the back of the store yet again. I had already bought towels, undershirts, Hot Wheels and some other things at two different stores and I really didn’t feel like marching to the back of yet another Target store and he fully understood. Two stores that allegedly had stock repeatedly hung up on him, but a third store, one that actually bothered to answer their phone, said they had plenty, and that they would “try” to get the unit up to guest services.

I drove down to that store, got to guest services and discovered that they had brought up the 8" version, not the 10" as I had specifically requested. Back to the back of the store yet again only to find that no, they didn’t have any 10" versions in stock. Surprise, surprise. Lots of apologies, more phone calls. They locate a store just a few miles from where I was hours ago that had two but no, they wouldn’t hold it for me since it’s a popular item. Excuse me? If it’s so damn popular you’ll have no problem selling it the next day if I don’t bother to show up, which at this point is highly unlikely because I now have a lot of time invested in this and refuse to give up (although in retrospect I probably should have quit in order to preserve what little sanity I had left).

Another long drive, to another far end of the county close to where I was a few hours prior. I take a wrong turn and end up driving several miles on a two-lane, unlighted back road in rain that is getting even worse. I walk towards the front of the store, through the clearly marked and posted crosswalk with its slick painted stripes, and some dimwit in his older CUV keeps driving towards me inside of the crosswalk, dangerously edging closer and closer with each step. I am already seriously pissed off from this whole debacle, and this fucktard is going to pressure me to run in the rain whilst I am crossing legally in a designated crosswalk? Oh, hell no. I stop right in front of him, stare at the stupid little waste of sperm and then try to put my fist through his hood, continuing on to the back of the store to get my damn tablet, looking like I was lost at sea for a few months without a lifeboat.

I wait for some chump to figure out how his ATM card works (three attempts before he gets it right, but I think we’ve all been there) and make my purchase. I asked the clerk if he, Brian, was the one that refused to send the item to guest services, and when he proudly replied in the affirmative, I gave him a scathing  “Fuck you very much, Brian”, and proceeded to march out of the store leaving a trail of water behind me, secretly wishing I was a dog so that I could do that rapid twist and shake to dry myself off as I was soaked to the core.

I did make a wrong turn leaving the parking lot, and instead of trying to find somewhere to turn around on this dark and rainy night I just kept going, knowing that in another ten or fifteen miles I would find a freeway that would get me home. At first I programmed the GPS to take me to my landlord’s house so I could drop off the rent check since I was already out in nowheresville, but after some time and knowing I had to get to the pharmacy before they closed (another seriously annoying thing that day that took multiple phone calls over several hours between me, my doctor’s office and the pharmacy to finally resolve) I just said “fuck it” and kept on going.

So, Oppo, how was your Friday night?

PyramidHat > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. 12/16/2018 at 11:34

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What’d the cuv driver do?

daender > PyramidHat 12/16/2018 at 11:37

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Probably didn’t notice it from looking at their phone.

f86sabre > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. 12/16/2018 at 11:38

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I spent most of it in the hospital hanging out with my wife.

What you described is why most all my Christmas shopping was done online. I have no time or patience for dealing with that crap. 

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > PyramidHat 12/16/2018 at 11:38

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No idea. I didn’t stay outside, and to the best of my knowledge he didn’t come into the store to pursue me. Hopefully his girlfriend/wife/mistress/whatever in the passenger’s seat told him that he was an idiot, and that it would be best not to argue with a crazy person (me).

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > f86sabre 12/16/2018 at 11:41

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How’s she doing? Did the s urgery go OK?

I’m still stressing over my doctor visit tomorrow and procedure on Thursday, and that probably contributed to my poor attitude. But then I think that my doctor wouldn’t have refilled a 90-day prescription with a refill if she didn’t think I was going to live that long, right? Right?

Tapas > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. 12/16/2018 at 12:55

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Put a frozen pizza on broil instead of bake. Saved it from getting burnt but ended up with a pizza with melty cheese and defrosted soft crust. At e it anyway. It was not good, 2/10. Would not recommend.

Then I went to a party where most people were on drugs and I wasn’t. I went there because i was invited. I’m usually never invited anywhere since I know like 5 people in the city. Takes to few people and got back home with a slight buzz (from alcohol) and went to bed.

Berang > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. 12/16/2018 at 13:15

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Having worked at a Target ages ago, the reason people don’t put popular/sale items on hold is that 99% of the time the person requesting a hold doesn’t show up. And 100% of the time the item is put on hold, other customers come in looking for it and freak the fuck out if they find out the item is on hold for somebody else ( your site says it’s in stock!!!!!! ). I had seen a fight nearly break out when the person picking up an item on hold showed up at customer service the same moment somebody who’d been searching the store for said item finally went to the front desk exasperated by their fruitless search.

As is usual for retail, the problem is the general public is fucking awful, not the employees, whose main task is to simply move product - but have to deal with a bunch of slack jawed, entitled, belligerent morons all day (and worse, their monster children).

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > Berang 12/16/2018 at 13:24

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I realize that most people are awful, but the other stores didn’t have a problem putting it on hold so I don’t understand why this one did. I was willing to pay in advance to make sure it was there when I arrived to eliminate doubt as to whether or not I would pick it up , but apparently that wasn’t good enough. But the last time I paid for something ahead of time and allegedly had it waiting for me they didn’t have the item in stock and I had to drive across the county to a store that actually had it. Deja vu all over again.

It doesn’t matter what you do, you’re screwed. Customers, employees, bystanders - everyone sucks and nobody is innocent.

Berang > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. 12/16/2018 at 13:36

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It might be different now, but if it was a sale item, the people who said they were putting it on hold were in the wrong. I seem to recall being told to never hold sale/clearance items, that they were strictly first come first serve. Also to prevent any sneakiness, the Electronics desk would hold electronics items instead of sending them to customer service because items tended to end up in the wrong hands when sent up front.

I’ve worked a lot of retail jobs in my life, and Target was by far the worst so far as customers go.

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > Berang 12/16/2018 at 14:10

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Is this ‘sneakiness’ an internal problem? The item that ended up at GS at the one store did have my name on it, and I really appreciated the effort that the clerk put into getting me the product at the location I wanted. He was incredibly apologetic, and I had to stop him from continuing to apologize and focus on the task at hand.

Like all companies, it seems that Target needs to reiterate to their employees the official corporate policy on this situation . According to what you’re saying, i n my case it sounds like I had three stores going against the company line by trying to be helpful , and one actually doing it correctly, although I vehemently disagree with how they went about it when I was willing to put my money up to show that I was serious about making the purchase . I’d been burned before by this same company for something that should have been relatively simple (pay and pick up) but was willing to give them another shot.

I really don’t like being an asshole and try not to be as often as possible, but the combination of factors that day, both in and out of Target, had me in rare form and poor Brian was the recipient of my rage. If three out of three locations didn’t get it right how am I to expect the fourth to do things correctly, especially if I’ve had other orders/ purchases go hilariously wrong? W hen I go to Walmart/Sam’s I know it’s going to be a cluster, so when things get stupid I’m not in the least surprised and am nonplussed by whatever idiocy comes my way. But Target has conditioned me to expect a little more than bottom-of-the-line service, and for the most part they’ve come through. I do think they need to work on these inventory issues to ensure that the customers are not being told one thing (‘yes, we have plenty in stock’) and finding out that this is not the case. They’re not alone in this, however. I’ve driven to distant locations of another chain store because they allegedly had 30 of an item in stock according to their website and staff, only to discover that they can’t find a single one. And we’re not talking about a sale or special-purchase item, but a flippin’ toilet plunger in one example. This kind of incompetence is how rage is induced.

AestheticsInMotion > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. 12/16/2018 at 14:39

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Online shopping, friend. I only step foot in a store for groceries, and that's only because my schedule allows me to shop late at night when the crowds are gone. 

Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever > Berang 12/16/2018 at 14:49

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If you build a good rapport (enough that the customer service guys know you by name), you can get stuff held.  That doesn’t make it right, but it is possible.

Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. 12/16/2018 at 14:49

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At least you finally got it!!  Hope your hand’s better now.

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > AestheticsInMotion 12/16/2018 at 15:04

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Yeah, except my neighborhood is rife with package thieves; they even took my special-order tooth paste.

I tried ordering on Amazon and having it delivered to one of their pickup locations , but only some of the items could be sent there, and if I canceled the other items the shipping cost was outrageous .

The post office two blocks from my house isn’t where my mail is sorted for delivery , so if I want, and can arrange a pickup, it’s several miles away in an inconvenient location; I could have all of my mail forwarded to a P.O. box over there, but that means no regular mail at home and only getting my mail when the P.O. is open, if it jives with my work schedule . And some places won’t ship to a P.O. box.

UPS/Fedex can sometimes maybe deliver to an alternate pickup location , if the shipper allows it, which shouldn’t really the shipper’s issue.

I’ve tried ordering online at a store for pickup, paying in advance, only to have my order canceled as I arrived because they don’t actually have the items in stock.

It shouldn’t be this difficult to receive a package at home, but it is, at least in my little slice of hell.

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever 12/16/2018 at 15:09

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Yeah, the hand is fine. The punch was pulled so it didn’t hurt all that much. I didn’t want to damage the guy’s car, only to give him a wake up call that said that continuing to drive towards people in a crosswalk whilst people are in said crosswalk is a dick move.